#also yes I'm still talking about Namek

[wirtsauce4020]

I think about this scene a Normal™ amount

squint really hard and pretend it looks good, okay? thank you :]

[2darklymelanatedstories]

Secret Club

ft Piccolo&Vegeta&Whis)

I got this idea from @ zeldapanda. Thnx and enjoy love.❤️ I plan on making another part to this since this one's short.

_

Welcome to the club.

Where we like our tea a bit salty...if you know what I'm sayin'.

~

The door flew open and slammed against the wall, startling Piccolo and Vegeta making them almost drop their drinks. The angel stomped into the room and sat at the antique looking table he designed that matched with all the other decor.

"Uh, Whis–"

Whis raised his hand, automatically silencing the Namek. "Wait a moment let me calm myself down." He sighed.

"Just let it all out and punch stuff. It feels great, trust me.",Vegeta mentioned.

Piccolo sighed. "Spoken like a true hothead."

Before Vegeta can retort they hear the angel rant about his day with the obnoxious God of Destruction followed by,

"Why that little, stupid, whiny, purple Barney looking...!" Whis' teeth clenched as he tried to think of another insult.

"Bitch?",Vegeta suggested.

"Yes that as well." Being a angel who always had to be calm, Whis wasn't one to blow up very much. But in the this club he could let it all out.

Piccolo chuckled. "Beerus really got to you, huh?"

Whis sighed and rolled his eyes. "If he keeps on acting up I'll have to trade him in for Goku.",he said resulting in a laugh let out by the three of them.

"Speaking of that idiot," Vegeta mentioned as he placed salmon onto his plate. "Last week the buffoon tried to kiss me!"

Piccolo raised a brow. "What the fuck?"

"Get this, the idiot has never kissed before and was curious so decided to try it on me.",he spat.

Piccolo smirked. "Guess we know who he'll cheat on Chi Chi with now."

"Shut up!",Vegeta growled. "I'm way out of that idiots league. To think that empty headed man boy would even think he'd have a chance with me. The prince."

"Right.", Piccolo said sarcastically. "Well I'm going to direct this conversation away from Vegeta's obvious crush on Goku."

"I do not–!"

"Yes you do." Piccolo smiled knowing he pissed off the saiyan. "Anyway–"

"Just like you and Gohan?",Vegeta said with a smirk.

Piccolo scoffed. "Please, I wouldn't go out with that wide eyed softy in a million years."

"I don't blame you. With his nerdy looking ass and all."

Whis took a sip of his tea. "It's hard to believe he's Goku's offspring. What with Gohan seeming to have more brain cells than his father."

"Goku even forgets that Gohan is his son at times.", Piccolo said. "It's hard to believe Chi Chi is still married to him."

"Jealous?",Vegeta asked with a raised brow.

"Off what?" Piccolo scowled with a blush coating his cheeks. "We don't go there."

Whis giggled. "Oh my."

"That woman's voice is as ear piercing as Bulma's.",Piccolo commented. "Honestly how do you live with that?"

"Ear plugs." Vegeta said bluntly before they all started laughing. "And also leave my wife out of this Namek.",he said after composing himself.

Piccolo rolled his eyes. "Calm down Mr McDonald's, I was just saying."

"What'd you call me, Slug!",Vegeta growled. They both got up from their chairs and glared daggers at one another. Whis giggled. Although they came together to hate on everyone else it was quite fun for the angel to see these two argue.

"At least this Veggie burger here found himself a wife.",Whis added. "Instead of stealing one like you did with Chi Chi."

Piccolo sat down and muttered. "Need I remind you that he stole Bulma from Yamcha."

Whis clapped his hands and smiled. "Alright I guess you're both homewreckers."

Vegeta sat back down and scoffed. Piccolo then said something to get back into the prince's good side.

"Yamcha was a piece of shxt anyway."

Vegeta smirked. "Was? He still is. That sorry excuse for a fighter. Fxcking scumbag. Coward. Playboy. Lazy fxck–"

"You wanna talk lazy, how about Yajirobe. Tub-of-lard looking ass.",Piccolo spat.

"That moron didn't even help in the future in the fight against Black.", Vegeta paused taking a huge chunk of meat before continuing. "Fxcking idiot thinks he's all that and a bag of senzu beans just because he cut off my tail. All he did was stuff his fat cheeks."

"You mean like how you're doing right now?",Piccolo said.

"Slug!"

Whis tapped his chin. "Well he at least isn't as disgusting as Goku." Whis cringed as he recalled the times Goku ate in front of him.

"I swear, why do you saiyans have to have such huge appetites?" Whis sighed. "Don't even get me started on Beerus. If he keeps on eating the way he does he'll end up looking like Champa."

Piccolo couldn't help but laugh. "And here I thought no one could get a stomach greater than Yajirobes."

The Namekian helped himself to some cake and custard. Something he's been craving for a while. Sure he was Namekian but he was raised on Earth.

"I thought you slugs only drank water.",Vegeta said event though he's seen Piccolo eat a bunch of times.

"I eat socially.",was all Piccolo replied with.

Whis raised a brow. "Really? And here I thought you only ate whenever Chi Chi cooked."

"Shut the fxck up, you devil.",Piccolo growled.

"You say that and yet I'm not the one going to hell, demon.",Whis snapped back.

"How has Beerus not killed you yet?"

Vegeta quickly swallowed his food then commented. "The question you should be asking is why Whis hasn't killed Beerus yet?. I swear I have never met an angel so evil in my life."

Piccolo smirked. "That's because when they look at you they run away."

Whis snorted almost spilling out his tea.

Vegeta growled. "Well they're wise to fear the prince of–"

"McDonalds." Piccolo cut him off.

"Why McDonalds though?",Vegeta finally asked. "Why the hell?!"

"Because your widow's peak looks like the McDonalds logo."

"I could kill you right here and now.",Vegeta threatened.

"And here I thought Veggie burger didn't have any beef.",Whis joked.

Vegeta placed his plate on the table with a look of anger on his face. When it seemed his was about to lose it, he started laughing.

"I fxcking hate this. I'm gonna go train."

"Yeah, I should leave too.",Piccolo said standing up.

"I suppose I better get to Beerus." Whis tapped his staff on the ground twice and the food and leftovers vanished. "See you two next time."

"Yeah."

"Whatever."

[nimedhel09]

Dragon Ball headcanons - Part two (of many more, I'm sure)

And I'm back! I think I'll, once again, talk more about Saiyans than anything else, but can you really blame me?

- Saiyans have to work way more to be able to meditate. Meditation demands to be too still, too calm. Their instincts are not ok with that, since Saiyans have always been more of the physical and instinctual kind of people.

- Yamcha is the most well adjusted out of the whole Earthling Z fighter gang. He has a steady job (which he started doing at the end of DB, and decided to go steady after he was revived after the Namek debacle) and decided to go to therapy for his PTSD (caused by, you know, dying). Although he's not as steady when it comes to relationships. He's not found someone that can understand and accept all facets of him yet.

- And yes, no, Bulma is definitely NOT the most well-adjusted. I mean, for one: she's filthy RICH. Her husband is a genocidal alien prince, she GOES towards danger even though she's weak AF and cannot defend herself (her going to Amenbo island with baby Trunks, anyone????), she bosses superpowered aliens around like it's her job, and she asks the freaking god of DESTRUCTION to babysit her infant daughter??????? A fine queen for the saiyans, though, lol.

- Yamcha is also bisexual. As is Bulma. Ten Shin Han is asexual and aromantic. Krillin and Chaozu are both heterosexual (and Chaozu is an emperor who has a wife, which still boggles my mind).

- Saiyan matings. Yeah, that's a whole thing. There are different levels of commitments in Saiyans and all of them have their significance, and all of them are respected in Saiyan society.

First off, there's the casual hook-up kind. Also the most practiced one under the Cold empire. You get the idea, so no need to explain further. Although I'd say that Saiyans don't care about the gender or sex of their partners. Attraction is attraction, pleasure is pleasure, all that jazz (though they don't have a word for "love" per se, but I'll explain some of their language at a later date. It's still a WIP haha).

Then, there's the more serious kind of relationship, which is usually exclusive to two or more Saiyans. Because, yes, polygamy/polyamory is a thing. Usually, it's several males with one female or intersex Saiyan. The males can have relationships between themselves in those kinds of relationships too, since, you know, Saiyans don't care about gender. Sometimes, polygamorous couples can consiste of only males. It's totally not seen as weird, because pleasure is pleasure, Saiyan is Saiyan, and they are advanced enough to create babies in labs (but they don't do it often, because it's kind of seen as blasphemous to the Moon Goddess, who I need to name at one point).

For more serious relationships, ones that last until the end of a Saiyan's life and are mostly monogamous (though not always), there are two options: the mating or the linking (rough translation from the original Saiyago - which is also a thing that I have thought about way too much lol).

The mating is done when two saiyans have sex and bite their mate's shoulder deep enough that it will leave a scar. It's a relationship that will last until one or both of the Saiyans die (usually, a Saiyan will not take another mate if theirs has died).

The one that lasts until forever, aka the "linking" is also done in the same manner, but the Saiyans also put a bit of their ki in the bite, linking them to their mate. Noone outside of those "linked" pairs really know exactly what it entails, so no Saiyan does that without thinking about it very hard and for very long even. It was quite rare even when Saiyans were at their cultural peak, but it was nearly unheard of by the time of the genocide by Frieza.

- Gine and Bardock are mated, but not linked.

- Frieza, Cold and Cooler are the strongest members of their race, the Arcosian (yes, I'm going with that tidbit in the anime except instead of being weird aliens that work for the Cold Empire, they're actually the ice lizards and I don't caaaare if it's not canon), also known are the frost demons or frost lizards. Their race is on the brink of extinction, though, because of infighting, and also because they breed very slowly, as they are very long-lived.

- On the topic of the Legendary super Saiyan (aka Broly). The green-haired berserker is born with a very high potential, battle power and heightened instincts. If they (and everyone, really) do not want to destroy everything around them and themselves, the Legendary needs to have a particular upbrining where they put a lot of effort into mastering control over their energy, which is horribly difficult, even more so when they are cubs and through their puberty (aka the worst). Both Brolys have not had such upbringing, they never learnt how to harness their potential and strength in a non-aggressive or healthy manner, which explains why they're complete monsters when they go full power. Kale, on the other hand, grew up in an environment that helped her control her transformation somewhat when she did go Legendary. Although no Saiyan of Universe 6 know that she's one (the legends got lost along the way, as did their tails).

- Tsufuls were not the poor victims the North Kai made them out to be. They were warmongering little midgets that used technology to destroy themselves. And then the Saiyans came and they started using them as their weapons, and then became arrogant and started to experiment on the weaker Saiyans, until the stronger ones discovered it and Saiyans lead by Vegeta I led the genocide of the Tsufuls as revenge for their brethren and renamed the planet in his honour and made him the official king of all the tribes (another thing I need to touch on later on).

- Saiyans were also not the bloodthirsty evil eeeeeevil creatures they were made out to be. They didn't really like battling and killing abysmally weaker opponents, but they did NOT have a choice. They were freaking slaves of the Cold empire. They relish in a good challenge, they don't mind killing, they like blood, they are violent, but they're also prideful and stick up to their race. What Cold and Frieza did? It would be seen as heretical, weak and non-Saiyan by the ancient Saiyans.

- Namekians are natural empaths. You're near one of them? They know and feel what you're feeling. You can't lie to them either.

- Saiyans, on the other hand, will smell it if you lie. So don't do it.

- Tails are very significant in Saiyan society. Losing one's tail is seen as a handicap, because it's a member like an arm or leg. It can grow back under certain circumstances. Tails regrow naturally until a Saiyan has gone through puberty. After that, it takes a certain technique of applying pressure on a specific place in the lower back for a tail to regrow (cf. Turles regrowing Gohan's tail). But if the vertebrae near the tail are in any way damaged, it is impossible.

- However, a tail is even more important than that, because it's useful for mating rituals, but also knowing a Saiyan's state of mind. Saiyans don't keep their tails around their waists 24/7. They do that mostly in battle or when they are in unkown environments or don't feel safe. But the tail can unwound itself from the waist if the Saiyan has strong feelings about something. You can know if a Saiyan is feeling playful or annoyed by looking at the way their tail is moving.

- Also, Saiyans will only let a veeeeeery few people touch their tails. Family (if they're close, and usually the cubs, because it's important to create a relationship and they need it to soothe them babies), significant others (if they're really serious and comfortable and trust each other) and maybe, possibly, their crew if they have a close enough relationship (again, trust, very important).

- On the topic of tails, the worst kind of shameful punishment is the removal of the tail. Permanently. It's done for Saiyans who have dishonored themselves horribly in one way or another. Fortunately, it's quite the rare punishment, since Saiyans are such proud people (and value their tails a LOT).

- Gohan is the only hybrid to be born with a tail. Bulma still does not understand why the tail gene is absent from Goten and Trunks.

- Saiyans are very long-lived for hot-blooded, mammalian species. They are in their prime until they are around 80-100 years old, and only then begin to show signs of age. The more powerful, the more long-lived (because a lot of Saiyans kind of die in battle/from long-lasting issues caused by battle).

- Beards/facial hair. So, for a species that tranforms into hairy giant apes, Saiyans are kind of not that hairy? They have hair on their head (but can become bald even if it is quite rare, like Nappa, though they have to be pretty old for it to happen, and Nappa is ancient, though still in his prime by the time of his death), their eyebrows, eylashes and pubic areas, under the arms and a mostly fuzz on their arms and legs (and of course the tails), but they are kind of hairless anywhere else. Some males do have hair on their chest area, but it's not the norm. That is, until male Saiyans get to a certain age. Usually when they hit their 50's (earth age), they begin to develop facial hair, but not all of them, and not always. The legendary, for example (aka the Brocoli bois, lol), will not develop facial hair until most male saiyans will begin to go white or bald.

- Time is counted differently for Saiyans. They don't follow the revolution of their planet around their red sun, but the revolution of the moon around Vegeta. So they count in cycles. Their time keeping also includes their seasons (rain season and dry season).

- The days on planet Vegeta are quite a bit longer than on Earth.

- When the first rain of the season comes, all Saiyans stop working and go out to embrace the rain. Because the rain brings fertile lands, and that's very important in Saiyan cultures. During the Rain Season, festivities are organized. Even Saiyans off-world try to quicken their missions so that they can go enjoy all the fun things on their planet. Cold tried to suppress that tradition, but it backfired spectacularly with a full-on insurrection (and even if Saiyans are weak compared to the lizards, when they band together and go Oozaru, you better believe even the "emperor of the universe" is in dire danger). Cold was able to calm down the warrior race eventually, and decided to just let them to their stupid cultural stuff. That event also spurred Frieza's worry and fear of the warrior race.

- It is believed that children conceived during the Rain season will become exceptional warrior. Broly, Vegeta and Goku were conceived during that period (lol).

- Female Saiyans are very protective of their young (maternal instinct to help their progeny survive and help the species thrive, you know, like in nature). They are extremely aggressive when they have cubs and feel they are threatened. You DO NOT cross female Saiyans if you don't want to lose a limb or die. This also applis to when they are close to somebody. They have no pity. NONE. Male Saiyans are rightfully weary of crossing their females, which also explains why Goku and Vegeta listen so carefully to their wives: survival instinct.

- And yes, even sweet adorable Gine is scary if she's ever mad. She will use her chopping knife and hurt you. It's rare, but it has happened. Bardock likes it when she's mad (not at him, of course). Beware of your tail too, lol.

- With the technological advances of the Cold Empire brought to them, Saiyans were able to put Saiyan fetuses into nursing pods to be fed and such. That made the females and intersex Saiyans ready for more battles, although it also deprived them of the zenkai they got when giving birth naturally and developping the nurturing instincts.

- Cubs, before the Cold empire's enslavement, were taken care of by their whole group. They were also fed by all the Saiyans able to lactate, as the presence of a Saiyan cub in a group would stimulate the hormones for lactation. It was sorely needs, as even infant Saiyans have a huge appetite and their mothers weren't always able to provide enough sustenance for them.

- When I say group, I'm not only talking about familial groups, but something like a clan? But it's more vaporous. Saiyans that had strong bonds would create nests together and live there. Sometimes, the grown up cubs would leave the nest to create or join a new one where they felt more comfortable. Those "nests" vary from as small as 5 Saiyans to around 20. More than that would be unsustainable.

[magicalgirlmascot]

Heya I don't mean to sound passive aggressive in any way, but I was just wondering why is it that you dislike Super a lot? I mean you're allowed to like and dislike whatever you want, and I'm in no way trying to change your opinion. I'm just curious as to why you seem to have a burning hatred for it?

Nah you don’t sound passive aggressive ^^ if you were you wouldn’t have acknowledged that my opinion is a valid one, you’re cool

I’ve avoided going into too much detail to avoid The Discourse, but essentially it comes down to a few main points: ships I don’t like, characters I don’t care about, pacing, terrible one-note characterization, and the fans.

I know a lot of that sounds really petty but with all my Sweet Home Alabama discourse yesterday are any of you surprised

I’m going to put my more detailed reasoning under a cut because boy howdy it is long and I have some Things To Say

Ships I Don’t LikeOkay this, honestly, is incredibly petty, and it’s not even the pettiest thing on here. But I HATE Trunks/Mai. I hate it. It is the worst ship that’s had the word “canon” sneezed at it in all of DB history, and that’s coming from someone who firmly believes Yamcha/Bulma was unhealthy for both parties. One of my rules for accepting writing commissions and requests is that I will not accept ships with an “aged up” child character in a relationship with an adult. (Aged up children in relationships with other aged up children are a different story, as they’re at least at the same stage of development, but that’s an issue for another day.) Trunks/Mai has the opposite problem: it’s an “aged down” adult character in a relationship with a child. You can argue about Future Trunks’s age all you want, but that changes nothing about kid Trunks and Mai. She’s in her forties. He’s nine at most. How is this not the creepiest thing in the world what the fuck.

Even with Future Trunks and Future Mai, it still grosses me out because it’s the same thing. Assuming the Pilaf Gang did (somehow) wish to be young again in the Future timeline (which...I don’t see how they could have, that doesn’t make sense continuity-wise, but continuity has never been DB’s strong suit), that still makes her way older than him. And if they didn’t, well, that’s just worse. Also how is she still that young looking.

Honestly the only reason I can think of for Toei/Toriyama to bring that into existence was so people would stop shipping Trunks with Goten and Future Trunks with Gohan. Which. I get it, you don’t like it, they’re your characters, et cetera, but could you maybe not have done it in a somewhat less creepy way? Dude. What 40-something wants to be in a relationship with a kid? Even if said 40-something looks like a kid? It’s creepy and gross and I hate it more than any other canon ship.

Characters I Don’t Care AboutI’ve heard a lot of people refer to Super as The Goku and Vegeta Hour and...yeah. DB’s never been great at remembering their MILLIONS of side characters (humans especially once Z happened) and Super doesn’t take enough steps to change that imo. Don’t get me wrong--I like Goku, and I...tolerate Vegeta, but characters who were once considered major players are relegated to backseat viewers again, and nobody can keep up with Goku except Vegeta sometimes (when previously most of them could at least hold their own). I’ll admit, I like the looks of some of the new characters, there are some who seem like they have interesting characterizations (like Kale.....though I’ll be the first to admit I’m biased as hell towards buff women). But Zamasu/Goku Black or whatever just seemed like a couple of shitty Hot Topic teens. I went to high school with people like them and they were annoying.

There’s just too much of a focus on a few specific characters while other characters get the shaft, and the new characters and plot points they bring up just...aren’t interesting. I don’t give a shit about yet another “gotta get stronger” plot you guys. Ugh.

PacingOKAY I’LL ADMIT this is the pettiest thing on this list but like...I’ve never liked the DB anime’s pacing. Ever. Remember how I used to liveblog DBZ? I got like 10 episodes in and got fed up with how long it took to get anywhere. Stuff that took like...a couple chapters in the manga took five half-hour episodes to deal with. And you’d think they would’ve learned in 30 years, especially since they don’t have to base everything off the manga now, but no, the pacing is still awful. And it’s not just the whole “Namek takes half a season to explode” stuff (although that is really annoying, and knowing the real-world reason for it doesn’t make it less annoying), it’s that every shot lasts longer than it needs to. You could cut the running time in half just by trimming the shots slightly. It’s bad, and I’ve always stuck to the manga because of it. It’s not that I’m a Manga Purist(TM) or anything, I just...can’t watch the anime.

Terrible, One-Note CharacterizationYou all know who I mean when I say this, but it extends to more than just Yamcha.

Videl’s character was absolutely decimated in this show. 18′s the only female fighter we have left anymore because of it. I once saw an argument saying that Videl not fighting anymore makes sense because she was traumatized by being killed by Buu, which okay fine fair enough, but 1) nobody said she had to fight in life-or-deaths situations, AT LEAST LET HER BE SAIYAWOMAN AGAIN YOU COWARDS, and 2) that doesn’t mean you have to get rid of her firecracker personality and replace it with the sweet, docile housewife type. We saw it with Chi-Chi...sort of, we don’t need it with Videl, too. Once a female character gets married in DB, they stop fighting (except 18) and stop being important to the plot (except Bulma...sometimes (remember when Bulma was the main character? Pepperidge Farm remembers)). Three times is a pattern, Toriyama, I’m just saying.

Goku even gets hit with shades of this. He’s not an idiot, you guys, he can read a dang grocery list. Yes, he’s selfish and simple and bad at communicating and often doesn’t realise what he’s done wrong until it’s pointed out to him, but he’s also a fast learner, a really good tactician (like. look at some of his fights in DB and early Z, those are some Good Tactics), and not a complete asswipe. We don’t get to see those good traits much in Super. He had no reason to not tell people the stakes for the tournament to get them to join. None. There was no reason to lie. Yes, his biggest flaw is his inability to communicate with his friends and teammates (COUGHS LOUDLY AND LOOKS AT THE CELL ARC) but Jesus you guys, his friends would have helped him if he told them the real stakes too? He didn’t need to lie? There was no point? I’m so angry?

The worst of it though is Yamcha. For the love of fuck, you guys, Yamcha has more characterization than just “guy who sucks at everything and has a thing for Bulma.��� Like that’s some Funi dub shit there, not original canon. What happened to when he said he’d given up fighting in the Buu arc? Where did that go? You could have done so much more with that concept rather than have him still be overconfident in his abilities and slamming him at every turn. Even when he does get to do stuff, it’s obvious that it’s just a setup to make him fail so Vegeta will look good by comparison. It’s awful. The writers have such an obvious hard-on for Vegeta and they keep cutting Yamcha down. Those bits where he’s waiting for Goku to ask him to the tournament even though we all know he won’t? They’re not funny, they’re just sad. Also, on that note, why is Roshi there? Yamcha surpassed Roshi years ago, Roshi himself says so! I get that he wasn’t in the RF movie because his voice actor was busy, but they couldn’t have given a better reason than just Tien leaving him behind because he didn’t think he could keep up? At least have him sick in bed with a fever and wanting to go anyway and being forced to stay behind by a worried Tien or something guys, geez. And his VA was obviously around for that arc of Super, so what the hell.

(Yes I was salty earlier about Yamcha still fighting and shit but if you’re going to drop the “Yamcha retiring from fighting” plot point then at least DO something with it you cowards)

FansOH GOD, THE FANS. Not to say that people who dislike Super are perfect or ideologically pure (I once knew a person who bragged about trolling/picking on Super fans...we do not talk), but the people who do like the show seem to spend an awful lot of time yelling at us and telling people they’re not real fans if they like GT more than Super or don’t like either or whatever.

And of course the VegeBullies are out in full force over it, too. VegeBul gets a lot of screentime, and when fans of other ships (GoChi primarily) say “hey we’d like more content” they get shut down or yelled at. They demand more content despite already having more than anyone else at this point. Shut the fuck up and let me enjoy the fact that Tien and Yamcha stood next to each other again in peace.

But that’s getting dangerously close to ship war territory and I try to stay out of that. (It’s hard, because I’m a salty, bitter person, but I try.) I’ll also say Not All VegeBuls(TM) even though I shouldn’t have to because if I don’t I’ll get at least 10 angry anons in my inbox flipping their shit.

You know what the really sad thing is? When Super was first announced, I was mega excited. And I really liked the first couple episodes! But they veered away from making it the Martial Arts Themed Slice of Life Comedy Hour we deserved, they retold the same story the movies already did instead of just making the movies canon and continuing from there (thereby drawing it out way too much), and they just...fucked it up in general. I can’t stand Super and while I don’t expect to sway anyone’s opinion with this, you did ask me why, and I hope now you can understand.

[nimedhel09]

Dragon Ball headcanons - Part Three, the Godly Edition (1/2)

Well, hello there! Been a while since we touched on headcanons!

I'm still working on the Saiyan pantheon and decided that, well, since I already have publishable matieral for this subject, why not post it first? Why wait to finish a quite intense and lengthy process of creating a whole freaking belief system from nothing, when I have this already written down and ready to post?

So, instead of just doing one post on Deities and Religions in the DBverse that's going to be way too long... I'll post this bit first!

We're talking about belief systems for: Earth, Namek and the Icejins (I'm still thinking of them as Arcosians and I will not be stopped, but for the sake of everyone who does not agree with this HC that is so not canon, I have also referred to them as Icejins. You're welcome).

Earth

- Kami is the planet's deity. Some call him The Almighty.

- Rituals, rites and adoration vary depending on the place and culture. Some Earthlings, though, aren't really religious and don't think Kami really exists.

- The tribe living in the land of Karin also adore Karin as a lesser deity.

- Poppo is a genie, and he's immortal. Though he can die if killed (Buu, or if the Earth is destroyed... you know).

- The guardian of Earth, "kami" can be granted a longer lifespan if they are human, since they receive a tiny bit of godly ki. However, in the case of Kami, that didn't affect his biology at all. It even seems that he's grown older quicker compared to other Namekians, but that could be because of his separation in two.

- Also, the first "kami" of the Earth didn't ask for their successor to be 100% pure of heart. It is something that got added through the centuries as one of the "kami" was quite strict.

- Yeah, they don't know about the kais, Kaioshin, god of destruction and all the like. Quite a "primitive" world compared to a lot of others who are more in tune with the order of the Universe.

And yeah, that's it for the Earth lol.

Namek

- They don't really have a religion? It's more like spirituality, animism. They adore the world they live in and its nature.

- They show their devotion to their world by tending the Agisa trees, which were nearly wiped out in the Namekian cataclysm that also nearly destroyed the Nameks (and saw Kami, the nameless Namekian, son of Katas, come to Earth as an egg).

- Namekians see all life as important, and their love for it is made quite easy with the fact that they only need to drink water, and thus, never need to hurt another being.

- They know about all the godly and ungodly people (kais, kaioshin, makaioshin, god of destruction and angel, Zeno-sama... you know... they KNOW). They don't adore them or anything, but they respect them, and they know that they are deities. It's just, not important?

The Arcosians/Icejins

- They know of the God of destruction, but that's it. They are so not religious, but have a god complex as a race. It's really lucky for them that Beerus never went to their planet, and that the PTO is useful in doing Beerus's job for him so he can nap all he wants. They might have been hakai-ed otherwise lol.

The ACTUAL hierarchy of the main deities of the DBverse

Yeah, it might seem unnecessary to some, but, I have thoughts. So let's gooooooo with what the kais and other such deities that look after more than one planet/race/whatever do and what their hierarchy is actually like.

Princess Snake: oh you forgot about her? I definitely did NOT. The creator of Snake way, all the Snake ways, though, for all four cardinal kais. She is the lowest in terms of hierarchy, but her role is quite important, as she created the way for worthy souls to travel to the cardinal kais. That's her main role. And sometimes, she puts souls to the test (and eats the tasty ones that don't pass it, scary). And yeah, she has a thing for mammalian male warriors. She and Raditz are an item (oh, you thought I didn't get that tidbit that Raditz was able to flee Hell and live with Princess Snake???? mwahahahha!).

Enma (or Yemma or whatever it is his name is translated as where you live): he is the overseer of the check-out station. His role is vital for Otherworld, as he oversees every. Single. Soul. That gets to Otherworld. He sends them either to Hell, Elysium (that's how I'll call paradise because it looks like the Greek mythical place, so nanana) or one of the cardinal kais. Strength-wise? Well, he's quite strong, but what makes him fearsome? He has the ability to control any mortal soul that comes into his domain. His weakness? He can't control the staff that comes from the demon realm, so if they get corrupted (Janemba!), he can't do anything about it. His jurisdiction is just the check-out station; Hell and Elysium are overseen by Demons, who answer to the kais from their quadrant, Daioukai (if they're on his planet) and makaioshin.

Cardinal kais: They live on planets located just between Hell and Elysium so that, if there is an issue on their side of Otherworld, they are able to sense it and report to Grand Kai. They also keep watch on the quadrant of the Universe they are located in, making sure that things are in balance. If they are not, and there is an issue that needs addressing, they either send one of their champions, or, if it is dire enough, they contact the Kaioshin. When it comes to strength, they are stronger than Frieza individually, but even together, they are not as strong as Perfect Cell. Their energy and aura is different from mortals, as they are born deities. However, it can be somewhat felt still.

Grand Kai: Oversees Otherworld. Their planet is located way over Elysium, but in the same plane of existence than all of Otherworld (easier to oversee it, ey?). Their energy is similar to the cardinal kais, although They are physically and magically stronger.

Makaioshin: Rulers of the Demon Realm, which is a parallel dimension to Otherworld. They oversee Demons, but also Hell when it is needed. They are far stronger than the Grand Kai, and stronger in prowess than the Kaioshin, but they are not so when it comes to magic.

Kaioshin: deities of creation. They care for all of Creation, as in, they oversee all of the Universe they are born in. They have the power to create stars, solar systems and life. They are very strong magically but not so when it comes to fighting prowess (stronger than Cell, but quite weaker than Buu), as their main purpose is not to destroy, but create. Their ki, like all deities, is different from mortals. Their aura feels soothing, even for people who aren't ki sensitive.

Hakaishin: Balance between creation and destruction is needed, so, whereas a Kaioshin is made to create, a Hakaishin is made to destroy. It means they are extremely powerful when it comes to strength and ki manipulation, though, as they are deities, it is not the same kind of power as mortals. Weirdly enough, Hakaishin are not born deities, but mortals, and are chosen by the angel of their Universe to become a Hakaishin. As such, they are trained by the Angel themselves and granted godly ki. Their aura is unsettling.

Kaioshin of Time: for each Universe, there is a Time deity that makes sure that the flow of time if respected, and acts if something is too amiss. They have patrollers at their service that come from parallel timelines. They oversee all of the flow of all of the Universe. Their power is not physical, but magical, and is very vast.

Angels: their role is to guide and teach hakaishins, as well as be their attendants. They obey only to the Daishinkan and Zeno-sama. They are also required to be neutral to mortal matters. They have both the ability to destroy and create. Angels are truly immortal, contrary to the previous deities, and the only way for them to be killed is to be "eradicated" (a power only the Daishinkan and Zeno seem to possess). They live in a plane of existence outside of the Universes. It's also different from the Zeno's palace and in a very different location.

Grand Priest/Daishinkan: Well, he's the father of the angels (all 13 of them, and I'm inferring that it was magical births/creation out of "nothing", because angels are immortal beings and why would they follow silly mortal ways of reproduction?) of the 12 Universes that still exist (+1 destroyed), but he's also the adviser to Zeno-sama. He is also the "public figure" for Zeno-sama, meaning that he's the one that communicates all of Zeno-sama's messages, rules, wants, etc. to lower lifeforms when Zeno themself is not interested in doing so (which is most of the times, because why would they be interested in such paltry matters?). We barely know anything about him (and I haven't thought about him enough either, so sorry, but you won't learn anything new here, probably), but we do know that he is vastly more powerful in both physical prowess and magical power than anyone in the multiverse outside of Zeno. Everyone, be they hakaishin, kaioshin or other angels, show him the utmost respect, as he is vastly superior to any of them, even the strongest.

Zeno-sama: The omni-king, yay! He seems cute, but beneath the adorable appearance and voice, lies inscrutable power. Zeno is beyond power. Zeno is beyond everything, truly. They are the creator of everything, really, and have the power to just erase it if they feel like it. Their view on life is quite simply indifferent. Why would they care, honestly? On the topic of power: Zeno is not a fighter, there's honestly no need when you're the freaking creator of everything and have the ability to just erase a whole universe with just a flick of your wrist. Their power is unfathomable, truly. Not even the deities outside of angels can comprehend Zeno's magnificence. They live in a place they created for themselves with their attendants and amuse themselves however they see fit.

I will not touch on Zeno's attendants or anything more in-depth about any of the deities here. I need to think about them more for that, hahaha!

Important note: when I talk about "strength", "power", "prowess" or "physical strength", I'm also talking about ki. You know, power scaling, all that, haha! Just wanted to put this out there in case it was not clear enough.

And that's it for now!

[magicalgirlmascot]

Another set of sentence prompts! I want your famous ship tag "mean & green" or was it "for want a Nail'? I think you should make the choice of the sentence cause I'm sure you can write the best out of this ship

“You’re strangely nonchalant for someone who almost died a minute ago.”

“Well, well.” Nail’s hands hung loosely at his sides and he smiled at Piccolo. “We made it through after all.”

Piccolo snorted, folding his arms. “You’re strangely nonchalant for someone who almost died a minute ago.”

“I could say the same of you.”

“It wouldn’t be my first time.”

“Nor mine.”

“Technically–”

“Hey,” Krillin interrupted, “could you lovebirds take it somewhere else? Some of us are trying to call our wives over here.”

To Nail’s surprise, Piccolo flushed dark purple. “We–I–shut up.” Turning on his heel, he stalked off towards Gohan.

Nail watched him go sympathetically. He couldn’t really blame Piccolo for wanting to check on Gohan. The boy (young man, Nail reminded himself, still not used to the little boy he’d met on Namek being an adult now) was the most important person in Piccolo’s life, after all, and after everything they’d just been through with Frieza again…Nail was antsy to go see Dende. Sure, none of the people who died when Frieza blew up the planet would remember what happened, but the general consensus around him seemed to be to check on whoever they’d left behind.

A smack to his arm brought him out of his thoughts. Bulma stood next to him, a grin on her face belying her grief from a few minutes ago. “You should talk to him.” She nodded towards Piccolo.

“I just did,” he pointed out. “Now he’s talking to Gohan.”

Bulma gave him a pointed look. “You almost died.”

He shrugged. “Your point?”

“With the, uh, lifestyle you people tend to live, aren’t you afraid one of you will actually die before you’re able to tell him how you feel?”

Heat pricked Nail’s cheeks. “F-feel about what?”

She threw her hands up. “Ugh! You’re worse than he is. It’s like talking to a brick wall!” She pushed him towards Piccolo, who was now standing by himself and watching Gohan leave. “Talk to him or I’ll lock you two in the gravity chamber until you do.”

Nail decided to not mention that both he and Piccolo could break out of that fairly easily and instead just shook his head. “I will talk to him, but it really isn’t anything so big a deal as you think.” He walked off towards Piccolo, who turned to look at him as he approached. His face was purple again, or perhaps still purple. It was hard to tell. “We should check on Dende,” Nail told him. Piccolo nodded silently and lifted off the ground.

It was a quiet, awkward flight to the Lookout. Nail wanted to talk, but he didn’t know what to say. Piccolo’s face hadn’t gone back to fully green the entire time, and he kept stealing looks in Nail’s direction when he thought he wasn’t looking. As the Lookout came into view, Nail finally decided to speak up. “I’m glad you’re alright,” he said quietly. Piccolo looked at him. “If something were to happen to you, I’d–”

“Don’t,” Piccolo said hoarsely, eyes wide. He stopped flying, floating a good few feet behind Nail. Nail turned to face him, a sick, hollow feeling growing in his chest. “You almost died too. If you’d been standing just a few feet to the left Whis’s bubble wouldn’t have caught you and–”

“But it did,” Nail reminded him gently, floating a little closer. Piccolo looked away. “Piccolo, I’m here now. If you were worried about me, that’s okay, you can talk about it.”

“I wasn’t worried,” Piccolo sputtered. “Just–just a little concerned, that’s all. Don’t go making a big deal out of it or anything.”

“Of course not.” Nail came closer again, and Piccolo’s eyes flicked to his, locking in place there. “But I was worried about you, I’ll freely admit.” Piccolo’s eyes widened and he took a sharp breath. Nail reached for Piccolo’s shoulder, placing a hand there gently, comfortingly. “Do you want to know why?”

Without speaking, Piccolo nodded.

Nail smiled, his other hand coming to rest on Piccolo’s cheek. “I love you.”

Piccolo swallowed, eyes huge, lips parted slightly. “I-I–I’m–you–yes,” he blurted. He licked his lips, and Nail’s eyes followed the movement. “I, also, you. I’m–love you,” he stammered.

Nail leaned forward and wrapped his antennae around Piccolo’s, eyes closing. They were here, they were alive, they were together.

Despite the fact that they’d nearly died and the planet got blown up (sort of), this was probably the best day of Nail’s life.